One of my favorite teachers at Faulkner University was Dr. Eris Bonner Benson. He was a legend. He taught Bible and English and had been at Faulkner for longer than anyone could remember. He was short in stature, never married, and had a severe underbite which produced a faint whistle when he spoke. Brother Benson was a strict and deeply religious man. He passed away just a few years after I graduated and is buried in Tallassee, Alabama. I didn't know it until I read his obituary but Bro. Benson served three and a half years in the South Pacific during WWII under Gen. Douglas MacArthur. It is said that he carried the bread and fruit of the vine with him during that entire time and never failed to observe the Lord's Supper on Sunday. During his time in the Army he memorized 30 chapters of the New Testament and baptized his first convert in New Guinea.
Every Faulkner student knew two things about Bro. Benson.
One was a story. As the story goes, Bro. Benson approached a couple sitting on a swing together holding hands. As serious as he could be, he walked up to the young man and asked, "Young man, what are you saving for marriage?” The young man smiled, lifted up his right arm and said, "The other hand."
I still chuckle over that one.
But the other thing Bro. Benson was known for his annual "List of Euphemisms". Each year he produced a list of unacceptable substitutes for naughty words. Honestly, we looked forward to it. I dare say his list was more anticipated than any list produced by anyone. I mean, if you took the list of Oscar nominees, entrants to the Baseball Hall of Fame, and the entire list of teams eligible for the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament -- and rolled them into one -- it still wouldn't excite the average Faulkner student as much as Bro. Benson's annual list of euphemisms!
His list included all the usual variants of four-letter words most of us were already familiar with. But it also included some gems!
Like "I'm swanny!" And "Merlin's beard!" "Gee willikers!" And my all-time personal favorite: “Well, I'll be David Lipscomb!"
We had a lot of fun with that list. As I have gotten older, though, I realize that Bro. Benson had a point. I am reminded of what Paul says in Ephesians 4:29 - "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." And I think of Jesus' warning in Matthew 15:11 - "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."
Back in the early days of computers, computer programmers had a saying: "Garbage in, garbage out." In other words, if you want your program to run right you had better make sure you put in clean lines of code.
I think that applies to our hearts as well. If we want good things to come out of our mouth, if we want to live good clean lives, we must be careful what we allow into our heart and mind. Garbage in, garbage out.
Bro. Benson understood that. While I might disagree with the severity of some of the euphemisms he warned us of, I cannot disagree with the seriousness of his concern.
May our prayer be like that of the psalmist who prayed:
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer" (Psa. 19:14).